So, you have visited my little site and you have decided that you would like to know more about the site, or more than likely, more about me. Are you a stalker? I don't mind them but they do tend to bump into each other as they trail behind me at a safe distance while waiting for me to drop a piece of trash or possibly a used Transformer. I love Transformers, actually I love Decepticons.

Q: What is this site about?

A: Well, young padawan, this site was originally a daily links blog that showcased a funny website everyday of the week, but I soon grew bored of this format and wanted something of my own to work on, so the site has now evolved into what it is today. What is it? A big piece of shit.

Q: I like the old site better. Will you start posting links again instead of this crap?

A: Oh, how do I put this gently...No, now fuck off. If you miss the other site so much you can visit it in the "blog" section of the new site.

Q: Why is your site themed for Halloween?

A: It is not themed for Halloween, it is themed by all the horror movies or icons that I like. Stop by during the Christmas season to see baby jesus dressed up as Michael Meyers.

Q: What is your favorite episode of Roseanne?

A: I enjoy the episode where Dan finds out David has been living in Chicago with Darlene. Darlene has come home to visit and tries to patch up her relationship with her Dad. All goes well until Dan catches Darlene and David in the spare bedroom in the basemet together.

Q: Will you marry me?

A: Possibly. First please send a topless picture of yourself along with a 800 word essay on why you would make the ultimate bride. In the essay you must include your favorite Transformer and why you thought that Transformer could kick Unicron's ass.

Q: Where do you come up with these articles?

A: Well, I usually take a handful of random pills and then sit down and make a list of all the things I would like to write about. After some Yaqui tea I then try to sit down at my computer to begin writing an article, sometimes it works and sometimes I sit here and look at porn.

Q: Why should I care about this site?

A: Don't ask me, you are the one reading it. I guess it could be a great way to pass time at work, you have already seen the episode of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers that is currently on the TV, or you like to see what fat people do in their natural habitat. I write to keep myself occupied and because I am a hermit.

Q: Are you really a hermit?

A: Yes. I hate all of you little fuckers.

Q: Why is there a weird FAQ on your site?

A: Frankly, I skipped work one day and was bored, thus the FAQ/About page was born from the ashes of my shattered work day.

Q: Why did you stop updating the old site?

A: Yeah, I guess that was pretty sudden and out of the blue. I had some major things happen in my personal life that needed attention and I got tired of posting about other people's great sites. So at first I said the site was finished, but then I thought about it and decided to remold LaVarious.com into what I wanted it to be. I didn't mean to leave my loyal fans hanging in limbo, it was just a quick decision made at the spur of the moment.

Q: How often do you update?

A: Well, with the old site I would update everyday, including holidays and Sundays. In many ways I was better than your local government. With the new site I should update every 2-3 days depending on how I feel and if there is a Real World marathon on MTV. I am still kicking around the idea of updating the blog section of the site everyday.

Q: Why the new format?

A: Well, I have a lot of interests that range from movies and toys to video games and books, so I wanted to review stuff that I found interesting. I am constantly buying new toys and messing around with them, so I thought other people might be interested in reading about all the stupid shit I do and what sorts of things I waste my money on.

Q: What is up with the new design?

A: Since I am going to be writing articles now instead of 1 paragraph blogs I needed to create a layout I knew would work. XE was a big influence on me because of the mass of information he has under his control and the sense of humor we both seem to share. Unlike XE I will be pulling from everything I get my hands on and this will mainly be new toys and junk like that. I plan to review both the new Omega Supreme and Robosapien toys within the next month, as well as weird horror movies, infommercials, and older TV shows like Roseanne and Cosby. Plus, I am a huge video game freak and go through them like a heroin addict goes through syringes.

"Q": You are one sad "loser/fat-ass/bastard/fuck-stick/smacktard/ass-clown/any other name".

A: You have to structure your sentences in the form of a question for the "about" page to work. Well, I make no qualms about being a complete fucking dork with no life who has an army of cats to do my bidding because I am too anti-social and hermetic to leave my house. I am also a total lard-ass who has nothing better to do with his time and enjoy hot stone massages by the beach around sunset. The funny thing is I made this site as a hobby and you found yourself reading it and then decided to take it one step further to comment on it. Now that, my friend, is what I call sad and some what pathetic. It seems you have a need for attention that you can get no other way. Don't feel sad though, feel happy because someone took the time to hear your tiny plea and laughed to themselves as they read it. I <3 U and so does jesus!!