I continue on with my hatred
of fruits and vegetables and decide to slaughter as many as I
can before my month is up. Read on to view my lovely menu for
week 2 of the Vegetarian for a Month experiment.
| 10-30-06 Monday
As usual I hit up Quiznos for
lunch dining on the cookie/Sobe combo.To celebrate my week
long vegetarian diet I decided to eat at Subway again, because
I love to be predictable! I had an oil drenched veggie delight.
The Subway staff cheered me on as they all remembered I
was still on the vegetarian diet for a month. They also
took me in the back and slapped my ass with pieces of bologna.
I am still craving Pita Jungle from last Saturday night's
outing, so I think we will have to eat there again this
weekend.
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| 10-31-06 Tuesday
Hooray it is Halloween!! I shot a sweet
video of me scaring the shit out of my parents tonight.
Make sure to check it out and see how fat I really am. For
lunch I dined at....Quiznos. I mixed it up a little today
and got a double cheese melt since I thought I might start
eating office supplies earlier in the day. For dinner we
had a vegetarian frozen pizza that was pretty good, but
it wasn't anything to write about. Wait, I think I just
did write about it. Oh well, I suck.
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| 11-01-06 Wednesday
T'was the first day of November and
I ate at Quiznos and sat by myself reading as usual. The
staff were pretty friendly today and rubbed my genitalia
as I ate my cookie. For dinner Lori picked up some Taco
Bell. I had a 7-layer burrito and I told her to also get
me a bean and cheese burrito, but I guess that is too fancy
for Taco Bell, so I got a bean burrito. The thing looked
like some little demon spawn's used diaper and I just couldn't
force myself to eat it. I could force myself to take some
leftover Halloween M&M's and decorate it like a jack-o-lantern
though.
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| 11-02-06 Thursday
Today for lunch I just emptied a colostomy
bag directly into my mouth. Actually it was just a cookie
and Sobe at Quiznos as usual you silly bastards. For dinner
we ate at a place called Thai House and I had Thai Fried
Rice with French Toast Triangles. Okay, that isn't actually
French Toast but deep-fried tofu, which sort of tastes like
deep-fried Silly Putty...only less silly. I also had a Pumpkin
Pie Blizzard Treat at Diary Queen which was quite tasty
and made me crap my pants.
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| 11-03-06 Friday
I got out of work early today so I
decided to skip lunch. For dinner we ate at Pita Jungle,
because it is my new favorite place in all the world besides
for my bed. I got the same exact thing as last week. I really
like to mix it up. I had veggie pizza and humus again...tasty
shit. If I could fill a vault with humus I would and then
I would swim around in it like Scrooge McDuck does in his
vast stockpiles of gold. After consuming all of our food,
and a few small children's souls along the way, we decided
to hit up the Gelato Spot from some, well...Gelato. I had
a pineapple and salami Gelato that was so damn good it made
me bash in an elderly person's face area with my left elbow
and right knee. I then stole their false teeth and auctioned
them off on eBay.
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| 11-04-06 Saturday
Today I installed the Meat
Log Sign and wrote an article about it. The meat log
sign wasn't inspired by my new found diet, it was something
I have been planning for a few weeks prior to this article.
After we installed the sign and got all of our photos we
went and ate my My Big Fat Greek Restaurant. The food was
excellent. We has some sort of fried feta cheese and pita
for an appetizer. That was followed by a greek salad and
then I had a spinach pie-type thing for my main course.
Of course we had to get some baklava for dessert. Later
in the night --after a Wal-mart expedition-- we hit up Dairy
Queen and I ordered a size large twist cone, but got a size
lard-ass for some reason. I guess they could tell by my
voice in the drive-thru I was a fatty.
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| 11-05-06 Sunday
Today was a REALLY boring day. I woke
up around 1pm and played Battlefield 2142 until around 4:30pm
and then went out to eat at a place called Souper Salad.
It was kind of like a salad/soup buffet. It pretty much
sucked. The salad was pretty good, but the soup and the
rest of the crap they had out was pretty damn disgusting.
The nacho cheese really did look like melted plastic and
it tasted like it too. I tried to go up to grab some ice
cream from their soft-serv machine for dessert, but the
entire machine got swarmed by a bunch of zombies all at
once and I didn't feel like battling my way through the
old and feeble-minded to get some tasty sweets so I snapped
a photo of the mayhem and called it a night.
I got hungry right before I
went to bed around midnight, so Lori nuked some of the vegetarian
"chicken" patties she had purchased so we could
have a snack. I bit into my "chicken" patty and
noticed right off it tasted like I had just taken a huge
bite of my own belly fat. There really wasn't any taste
to them, but they were slimy and I think mine even had some
hair on it. Luckily it was also spicy for no reason, so
I sat there and ate my bun as I drowsily watched TV refusing
to goto bed.
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