My time as a vegetarian is coming
to a close, or is it? We start the winding down process on week
4 of the Vegetarian for 1 Month article. Will I bite into a human
head and swear it is a cantalope? Will I drink scalding hot bacon
grease and call it a protein shake? Read on to find out and learn
life's mysteries!!
| 11-13-06 Monday
Wow, last night really sucked major
dead donkey ass. I think I got around 1 hour of sleep total.
I don't know what it was but my brain just wouldn't shut
off. I was too busy at work to even take a lunch so I dined
at Subway for dinner and got a foot long instead of my regular
6". The Subway crew wanted to know how my experiment
was going and I told them all was good and I only had 1
week left. Then they urinated on my sandwich and spat in
my face. I was SO distraught that I forgot to take a photo
of my weight.
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| 11-14-06 Tuesday
I got a little more sleep last night,
but I was still dragging ass this morning. I am sure I will
be feeling the effects of Sunday nights sleepless insomnia
all week. I was still too busy at work to take a lunch break
today, but I did get my turkey
baster prank posted tonight. While I posted the new
article I dined on a frozen goat cheese pizza that was pretty
good. Getting the pizza out of the oven was sort of tricky
because my oven-mitts went missing and all I have to maneuver
the pizza was a set of tongs, so that is why it look like
I got a little excited on one side of it. Oh yeah, I finished
my night by watching porn...lots and lots of porn.
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| 11-15-06 Wednesday
I didn't eat lunch again today. I am
almost certain the Quiznos I frequent has assumed the worst,
that I probably died over the weekend gorging myself of
food until my stomach lining burst. For dinner Lori made
some ceasar salad and a veggie calzone. Yet again I understand
why vegetarians weight less than a number 2 pencil...that
food sucked!! The ceasar salad dressing tasted like it was
goddamn Mircale Whip and the veggie calzone tasted like
air. When I eat a friggin' salad I don't need to taste the
zesty zip of Mircale fucking Whip that is for sure. I threw
that crap against the wall and instead ate some tortilla
chips and salsa.
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| 11-16-06 Thursday
I was finally able to take a lunch
break today and ate at Quiznos because I longed for their
companionship once again and I wanted to rekindle out quickly
fading romance. I had some brocoli and cheese soup since
I didn't eat crap for dinner the night before. For dinner
I had a quart of fried rice that was pretty tasty. I feel
like I am getting a cold so I am going to go dose up on
shit loads of NyQuil and call it a night. I will let you
know if I see any pink aardvarks smashing the guinea pig
rebellion in my coma-like sleep.
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| 11-17-06 Friday
At work we had our Thanksgiving potluck
and I had to pick and choose what sort of crap I wanted
to shovel in my mouth since I couldn't be certain it didn't
contain meat. Sure, it may look like lime Jell-o, but it
really has a nice meaty center of crispy bacon. What did
I bring? Absolutely fucking nothing. I hate potlucks. If
I wanted to eat the swill someone else cooked in their filthy
kitchen I would go over to their house to savor the moment.
I have no idea how sanitary any of these people are, what
sort of germs they may be carrying, or if they dropped their
greenbeans on the floor while cooking it. I usually just
shell out cash and call it a done deal. Today I dropped
$10 for a bunch of food I can't stand to eat, but I have
to keep up appearences. For dinner I had a veggie pizza
from Red Brick Pizza which was really tasty.
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| 11-18-06 Saturday
It was a pretty depressing day today. I wanted
to eat somewhere good --but we didn't have any money-- so
we had to dine at Subway. I woke up around 3pm, so there
was no luinch to be had. We stayed up late to watch the
meteor shower early into the next morning and also ran to
Wal-mart
to screw around because we didn't want to goto bed.
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| 11-19-06 Sunday
We headed out to eat at Quiznos for
dinner, because that is where Lori wanted to eat, but found
out all too soon that my
theory behind Quiznos was yet again proven as it was
dusk and they were closed.
After being turned away from
yet another closed Quiznos we headed to Fazolis and I built
my own pasta and I guess I created "watered down crap"
because that is what it tasted like. I am pretty sure one
of the breadsticks even had mold on it. Mesa, Arizona sucks,
unless you are a mongoloid and then it is like Disneyland.
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